Everybody's Fucking But Me

Everybody’s fucking but me
I just can’t seem to get laid
Some girls even ball two or three
And then they just seem to trade

I can’t get laid, a dazzling urbanite like me
And though its well made, my pussy’s useful only when I pee

Everybody’s fucking but me
I’m dying of terminal lust
Christ, how its depressing to see
My plumbing covered with rust

My sex life is so gloomy, even my dog won’t do me
Everybody’s fucking but me

Everybody’s fucking but me
I guess I ain’t got no class
Lusty guys behind every tree, its really a pain in the ass

The guys all seem to duck me
I wish they’d stop and fuck me
Everybody’s fucking but me